My sweet husband called and he won the prize he worked so hard for. An all inclusive trip to Jamaica for 4 days. Why was my heart pounding so hard? Why was I so full of angst? I was thrilled for him but my guts were inside out. We had not been away from our children in 7 years. Was it separation anxiety? I could already see the headlines, "Delta Airlines Flight 555 bound for Jamaica crashes into the Atlantic." What would my children do without me? We aren't prepared for this! I said countless prayers but they didn't seem to help. We were doomed. A mother's intuition is spot on, isn't it? I knew in my gut that I was orphaning my children the minute I stepped on that plane. What a position I was in. My husband, of course, didn't understand. He's not a mother. How could he? He didn't carry two children for nine months. He didn't wake up countless nights on just a hunch they needed me to find they were running high temps. He does not know what this feels like. What does a girl do in this position? Refuse to go and look like a selfish cow? It WASN'T an option so I was going to have to be selfless and MARTYR myself. I had to orphan my children and pray that they didn't become hobos on the side of the road. If they did, I prayed they at least bathed. As we kissed our orphan hobos goodbye that morning, the tears wet my cheeks. I was kissing them goodbye for the last time. Sigh. A few hours later, I walked onto the plane and sat in my seat and begin to pray, and pray, and pray, and pray. Again it wasn't working. We started to take off and it hit me like a Mack truck... it was as if God himself spoke to me. I was praying, alright, but I wasn't trusting Him. I was just hoping He would get us there safely. So I closed my eyes and said, "Dear Heavenly Father, I TRUST YOU. I TRUST YOU TO CARRY THIS PLANE TO JAMAICA SAFELY. In Jesus Name, Amen." And just like that, every ounce of anxiety and fear I had left my body. What a moment that was for me. I don't know why it is that we pray for things and then we sit and hope God answers our prayers.
When Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego refused to worship the image of gold King Nebuchadnezzar set up, he threatened to throw them into a fiery furnace. The men responded, Daniel 3:17 "If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty's hand." They were bound up and thrown in. When the King looked inside, he didn't see 3 men, he saw 4 and they were walking around. In the Bible, the fourth man was said to be a "son of God." None of them were hurt! When the King ordered the men to come out, only three men walked out, unbound, and didn't even smell like smoke! They trusted God and He delivered them. Just like he delivered me on that plane.
We all have fiery furnaces we walk through and we cannot escape them. In our furnaces, though, the fourth man, is not "a son of God," it is ourselves. The other three are the trinity. God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. We must start trusting God to get us through our trials instead of hoping he will. He allows us to walk through them for a reason. He wants to break the chains that keep us in bondage just like he broke them off Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. When I did a personal inventory of my heart, I realized I smelled like smoke more than I cared to admit. I have some resentment, anger, and hurt feelings I would like to be set free from. I'm tired of feeling so wounded about certain things. Do you ever feel that way? Are there areas in your life you might be feeling a little smoky? When we come through a trial, God wants us to come through it victoriously and unscathed with no scars! I encourage you to pray and TRUST our Father to make your heart a smoke free establishment. He loves you so much. While you are at it, could you pray for my husband? Only that man could love me like he does. Crazy cakes and all...
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fear the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs 31:30