Sunday, May 12, 2013

A Proverbs girfriend

I must have started this blog ten times already.  It is my first post so it is a big deal.  The Scrabble nerd in me keeps writing articulate entries that might impress some folks but I want what I write to be exactly what would come from my mouth.  Not a research paper I was writing in college.  In saying that, if you are the grammar police or find yourself needing to correct my errors then this may not be the blog for you.  I am imperfectly perfect and I want my little corner of the universe to be just that.  Imperfectly perfect. 

A dear friend of mine sent me a link to a blog the other night that really spoke to my heart.  It was about girlfriends. Women gathered together and wrote things on stones that were keeping them from friendship with other women. Things that were building walls around their hearts. Words.  One woman simply wrote "Not Enough" and reading those words shook me to my core. That was just one stone.  I've not stopped thinking about that one stone since.  I imagine if we all stopped and made a list of hurts that were holding us back, we could have a backpack full of stones, couldn't we? Isn't that what we do anyway?  We carry that backpack of "Not Enoughs" around with us and use it as walls around our hearts so no one can get near us.  If they dare get too close, we reach back into our pack, grab one of our stones, and hurl it at them.  Maybe it is a stone that says "anger" or "resentment" or even "jealousy", but we pull from our own arsenal and project it back on others.  Hurt people, hurt people.  I have done it so many times in the past that I literally isolated myself.  I was sick of myself and sick of women. I was broken and found myself placing my shards into other people. It took some time but with God's grace, I am back among the living and now have a few friendships I absolutely cannot picture my life without. We are sisters at heart and our bond has been built by defeating despair, stitching broken hearts, walking hand in hand through the weeds of life, and helping each other get rid of some stones along the way. Absolutely knowing we are not in this alone, we lift each other up and encourage one another. We rejoice in each other's success and fill each other's cups.  It's the kind of friendship I always dreamt of but never knew existed.   It's time to lay down the swords, tear down the walls, and open our hearts to one another. We aren't the only ones that knows what this feels like even though, at times, we feel alone.  Our sister is hurting, too.  Our girlfriend is hurting.  Our neighbor is hurting.  The lady who asked us to lunch and we are unsure about is hurting.  Pain is not prejudice.  It hits every home and it does not care how much money we make or what kind of car we drive.  Human suffering is the same across the board.  The real healing begins when we move outside of our comfort zone and become vulnerable to others. That is where real friendships begin, too.  I don't know your story or where your road has taken you.  My road to healing started with some apologies.  They were long overdue and I had to humble myself but I absolutely owed it to a few people and I was met with love in return.  I had a truck load of stones to contend with and I still have some miles to travel but everyday the distance gets shorter and shorter.  Maybe your road to healing begins by offering an ear to someone you know is going through a hard time.  Maybe your road is simply refusing to participate in gossip from this day forward. I encourage you to map out your road and start your journey.  We are daughters of a King! Let's make our Father in Heaven proud. Let's aim to be a Proverbs girlfriend. 

"When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness." Proverbs 31:26 NLT


  1. I LOVE your heart! You are amazing! I'm so excited that you finally started. What a huge accomplishment. I love you.

  2. I'm so very proud of you!!!! Seeing what GOD has done in your life keeps me motivated to share with others how GREAT our GOD really is!!!! I love you my friend!!! Keep on blogging xoxo

  3. Beautifully said Christi! I am one that doesn't form female relationships very well. I'm not sure why that is. I just don't go out of my way to do it. I'm kind of a loner, as you know. This is something that will make me thing. Maybe I need to get my stones out. :/
    By the way, your grammar was great! ;)


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